THE WRITERS AT NERVE.COM
“When people talk about stamina in the bedroom, they’re usually not talking about penetrative-pumping all the time. Most women wouldn’t call an unrelenting forty-minute cervix ramming pure ecstasy. But give ‘em forty minutes of slow, deliberate, dramatic teasing, building up to a little bit of cervix ramming — now that’s what we’re talking about. In fact, a whopping 92 percent of women who received twenty minutes or more of foreplay felt the earth move.
BY CATHY WINKS AND ANNE SEMANS
“Watching him masturbate is just incredibly sexy because I can see what he’s feeling in ways that I can’t when I’m involved. It’s so clear that he is intensely inside himself and his desire. It makes me jealous in this really neat way. I could swallow him whole, I think. Masturbating in front of him is great because I really enjoy my reactions — how wet I get, my sounds, my smell, how freely I can move — and I know that I am completely turning him on. “
BY IAN KERNER
“Whether in or out of the bedroom, couples need to create a sense of novelty. We need to throw away those old scripts and incite a true sense of discovery and surprise. Variety isn’t just the spice of life; it’s the very life blood of great sex.”
BY JACK MORIN
“Sexual arousal, whether it involves romance or pure lust, is highest when there is a tension between the attraction pulling us toward the partner, and one or more barriers standing in the way. The formula for hot sex is attraction + obstacles = excitement. The obstacles necessary for high excitement may be external or internal, conscious or unconscious. They can arouse us whenever something makes it difficult to get together. Or the chemistry between something makes it difficult to get together. Or the chemistry between the partners can bring its own obstacles into the encounter. Overcoming barriers is a testament to the strength of the attraction.”
BY ESTHER PEREL
“When my patients wax nostalgic about the early days of rapid ignition sex, I remind them that even in the beginning, spontaneity was a myth. Whatever used to happen “in the moment” was often the result of hours, if not days, of preparation. What outfit, what conversation, which restaurant, which music? All that planning— that highly detailed, imagination production—was part of the buildup and part of the denouement.
For this reason, I urge my patients not to be spontaneous about sex. Spontaneity is a fabulous idea, but in an ongoing relationship whatever is going to “just happen” already has. Now they have to make it happen. Committed sex is intentional sex.”
BY IAN KERNER
“Fantasy is the engine of desire and the lubricant of arousal. Ongoing passion doesn’t derive from getting off; it stems from “thinking off.”
“Finding out his fantasies is the key to unlocking his unique turn-ons. While visual triggers like porn have become a quick fix for many a Hungry Jack, they’re no substitute for the real thing. Eating on the run may do in a pinch, but eventually all of us crave something more nutritious and filling. While he may be accustomed to the ease of erotic fast food, rest assured that if you take the time to find out his favorite dishes and prepare them with artful imagination, he’ll be coming back for more and more.”
BY PAUL JOANNIDES
“Don’t confuse a penis with a clitoris and think that every square centimeter is packed with thousands of nerve endings. As was said in the porn film, How to Perform Fellatio, “The most sensitive part of the penis is the top part, so stop wasting your time on the bottom,” and the male actor who uttered this profound statement had a penis with a great deal of bottom part.”
BY DR. PATRICIA LOVE & JO ROBINSON
For maximum effect, romance involves an element of surprise. We rarely get surprises as adults. As children we had surprise birthday parties, surprise holiday presents, surprise events orchestrated by adults. Life was full of surprises. Not so in adulthood. This makes it all the more meaningful to be pleasantly surprised — especially by one who loves you.